"Empathy is from the German word, Eingühlung, which means to ‘feel at one with.’ When you empathize with someone, you enter into that person’s emotional or physical pain. You see whatever happened from that person’s perspective.”…
Psychiatric Residential Treatment
Our kids, who have endured so much, have learned to live in the here and now. We work with them to build a new worldview so they can become aspiring future-oriented and hopeful.…
We have so much to pray about. Please keep our staff and kids in your prayers. You are in ours.…
Roanna Parker, our Life Skills teacher on the Minot campus, recently shared these photos of things our kids made during the sewing and cooking sections of her class. It encourages me to see our cherished kids learning life skills—skills they will carry with them their entire lives. And, on top of all they learn, our kids experience the love and care of their teachers and staff.…
All the kids at the Ranch live in group settings. They all have their own rooms and opportunities for quiet time. They share common areas where they do crafts, study, play cards and games, watch television, etc. Of course, we have gyms and classrooms and chapels and dining centers, but the common areas they share with just a few other kids, are their “living rooms.”…
“You remind me of Rosa Parks. Have a good day, Ma’am.” Hmmm. When I write these weekly emails, I really try to convey the heart of the Ranch, or a sense of God’s work, or somehow show you how truly precious our Ranch kids are. Sometimes though, they are just kids.…
We started a new tradition on our Minot, ND, campus. The Saturday before Mother’s Day is “GROW Day,” or “God Rewards Our Work Day.” It is in its third year, and is fast becoming a favorite.…
“There are three ways to really harm children. They are abuse, neglect, and separation from their primary caregiver. We must weigh the harm of each and choose the one that does the least damage.” So said Matt Gebhardt, Casey Family Programs, at the Children’s Behavioral Health and Family Services Conference I recently attended.…
“Rhythm is important to self-regulation. It is part of being human.” As part of the Ranch’s ongoing cultural commitment to learning, several dozen of our therapeutic staff are engaged in a facilitated book study. The book, “What Happened To You?” by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey, is a conversation on the topic of trauma and brain development. Dr. Perry is a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and an acclaimed trauma expert, who coincidentally, was born and raised in North Dakota. At Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, we use trauma-informed and trauma-sensitive methodologies in all our work.…
As we celebrate the birth of Christ, I am reminded of the many people who support the work of the Ranch...people like you who make it possible to wrap our children in the care and love they need to heal. I visited with one of these dear friends earlier this month. He and his wife began supporting the healing of the children at the Ranch in the late 1970s or early 1980s. He lives in Texas, and his dear wife passed in April. He came to the campus with friends because his wife, as well as other family members, is memorialized on the “Tree of Life” sculpture in our lobby, and he wanted to see it in person. Of course, he toured the campus with his friends, too.…
Happy Advent Season! I am becoming something of an authority on unusual Christmas cards. All year long, people donate their partial boxes and singles and “thought- better-of-it" Christmas cards to the Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch Thrift Stores. Also, the cards from the 1950s and 60s they found in their Christmas decorations, or those left behind by Grandma. The good Ranchers at the Thrift Stores put the complete boxes or in other ways saleable ones into the queue to put out for the Christmas season. The rest go into special boxes for me and others at the Ranch to use as thank you cards in the month of December.…
As I was driving through the North Dakota countryside, I noticed a cluster of tumbleweeds roll across the highway, through the center ditch, and up across the other side of the road, where they got stuck on a fence. Seeing the brush rolling and tumbling along at the whims of the prairie winds reminded me of the difficulties some of our Ranch kids face.…
My favorite poetry memory is of the four or five long poems my dad liked to recite. He had memorized them in grade school and remembered them well into his mature years. I, too, memorized poems in school, but they didn’t stick with me the way Dad’s did for him. I have never been very good at appreciating poetry. I have tried to be moved by it, because that seems like a very grown-up, cultured thing to do. But even after purchasing and reading poetry books, I miss the depth of the poems.…
What does it mean to succeed? I’ve written about this before in these emails. The mission of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch is to “help at-risk children and their families succeed in the name of Christ.” But, how do you measure success? Does that mean everyone goes to college? Or does it mean a child can control their anger? Or does it mean finding an adoptive family? Or does it mean sitting through a whole math class? Yes.…
This Thanksgiving, I hope you were able to enjoy the holiday with friends and family. Although the COVID yuck continues, we do have some more ability to gather and hug those we love. We come together for ample food, comradery, laughter, and football… and then more food. One holiday tradition in a lot of homes is to go around the table and have each person share what they are thankful for. Common comments are about gratitude for family, good health, love, and friends. In general, most of us are so blessed, we could list a few hundred points of gratitude.…
“Do you have any candy, Joy?” Like clockwork, nearly every day I am in my office, just before 11:15 a.m., Brian* stands outside my open door and repeats these words. Brian has been at the Ranch for about five months, and it took almost three months for him to find his way to my door. I don’t keep much candy in my office because I tend to eat it. In the two months of his asking, I think I have had candy twice. It doesn’t matter. He is not deterred by the limited success.…
On November 11th, we celebrate Veterans Day. Veterans Day was first named Armistice Day and began being celebrated the year after the end of World War I, which at that time was called The Great War, or The War to End All Wars. Unfortunately, we got that part of the plan wrong. So, we continue to rely on those who serve in the military, and their families, to make the sacrifices to keep us safe and free. My dad was a WWII veteran of the Pacific Theater and I grew up with a deep respect for all who fight for freedom. Thank you to each and every one of you who chose to serve. Today, we celebrate our Veterans. We also celebrate the brave and remarkable kids at the Ranch.…
Deaconess Stephanie Wilde started a bible study group for staff on the Fargo Campus. To facilitate study and discussion, she is using the book “Finding Hope – From Brokenness to Restoration,” by Heidi Goehmann. Of course, much of faith study is about our own relationship with God and His world around us. However, the chosen book is so clearly about the children at the Ranch, that I can’t ignore the connection.…
“The police just called because they found our truck, undamaged except they took the catalytic converter. They have the keys.” That is the central message of a text I received one Sunday from Lisa Olson, our VP of Retail at Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. It was really good news.…
Chaplain Rick Jones presided over chapel on the Fargo campus last week. Because we were talking about National Bullying Prevention Month, he talked to the kids about the pain of bullying. And then he pulled a brand-new, crisp dollar bill out of his pocket. When he asked who wanted the dollar, of course, all the kids raised their hands. Then he crumpled it up, and everyone gasped.…
One of our case managers is pregnant. For the girls in the cottage where she works, it has become a delightful major focus. Actually, I am not sure if it is the pregnancy or the idea of a baby. It is, for sure, the chance to throw a baby shower for this woman who has become part of their support, their healing, their lives.…
I find inspiration, humor, and solace in quotes from smart people. Here is one I read this weekend that will stick with me. “Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" —Mary Anne Radmacher Of course, this applies to all of us. It isn’t all that impressive to try something once. It is much more remarkable to try something, fail, and try again. I have tried several of my mom’s recipes, multiple times, and I am still trying. I remember a couple spectacular failures as I was learning to do public speaking. Trust me, it took much more courage to stand up after really blowing it, than it had for the first go-around.…
In October, Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch celebrates National Bullying Prevention Month. Harkening to the Ranch’s long history with bees and honey, our theme is “Bee Kind, Everyone has a Story.” We wear special t-shirts, the student councils put on bullying prevention performances, our kids make posters, and Spiritual Life and Chapel are all about Jesus’ call for us to love each other.…
Last Sunday, as I was driving between Ranch campuses, I stopped at a gas station to fill up. Inside, they had a whole wall of signs with pithy, and some borderline caustic, sayings. One said, “I would explain it to you, but I am all out of crayons and puppets.”…
I recently attended the South Dakota LWML retreat in Pierre, South Dakota. One of the hosts mentioned how good it was to finally be in person after such a long layoff, and the attendees agreed with a loud cheer! I agree. It was good to be in person. Me and my fellow Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch Development Officers have been visiting donors in person since May, but this was my first time meeting in a larger setting since COVID began.…